A Credible Christ?

This is an essay by Ruth Ecclestone Stokes, submitted for our Essay Competition.

Introduction

On 16^th March 2012, Brené Brown, a Research Professor of Social Work, gave a Technology, Development and Design (TED) talk on shame; it has since had over 15.9 million views.^[1]Brené Brown, Listening to Shame, TED2012 March 2012, https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame [accessed 27 June 2021]. (no pages). As she commented herself, she had hit upon a topic that no one wants to talk about but everyone experiences.^[2]Brené Brown, Listening to Shame, TED2012 March 2012, https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brwon_listening_to_shame/transcript 34 seconds, 14 minutes 57 seconds [Accessed 21 June 2021](no pages). For some, shame can be debilitating.^[3]June Tangney and Ronda Dearing, Shame and Guilt (New York: The Guildford Press, 2002), p. 3, as cited by Philip D. Jamieson, The Face of Forgiveness: A Pastoral Theology and Shame and Redemption, … Continue reading Though therapy can help to relieve behavioural symptoms, psychology does not seem to have a cure for shame.^[4]Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 42, Stephen Pattison, Shame, (Cambridge: CUP, 2000), p. 4. What might Christianity offer? Traditionally, much of Western Christianity has focused on a penal substitution doctrine of atonement which does little to address shame but focuses on guilt.^[5]Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 88. Unfortunately, in a society that has less and less focus on sin and therefore the need for forgiveness from God, Christianity may be seen as trying to answer questions that are no longer really being asked.^[6]Ibid., p. 23-24, p. 89. So is Christianity relevant when dealing with shame? Is Christ relevant? The answer to both these questions is definitely, ‘Yes’. As Philip D. Jamieson helpfully explains in his book, The Face of Forgiveness, the Bible has a lot more to say about shame than Christians often do.^[7]Ibid., p. 93. He firmly reassures those who, like Stephen Pattison, question whether atonement theory is ‘adequately nuanced to cope with the alienating experience of shame’ and shows how healing from shame can actually be found by looking at none other than the face of Christ.^[8]Pattison, Shame, p.12., Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 112-113.

What is shame?

It is important to say at this point that shame is not the same as guilt. As Brown says so concisely, ‘Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behaviour. Shame is “I am bad.” Guilt is “I did something bad.”’^[9]Brown, Shame, Ted 2012, 13 minutes 29 seconds.. Guilt is related to specific actions, “I’m sorry I made a mistake”; shame says, “I’m sorry. I am a mistake”.^[10]Ibid. This is a much deeper issue. Shame also bases our human identity on what others think of us. ^[11]Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 77.Shame is generally corrosive, both to individuals and to society. In society, although used to encourage social control, shame generally does not work because it is difficult to limit its effect.^[12]Pattison, Shame, p. 12. For example, many unmarried mothers in the 1950s, 60s and 70s experienced shame, being told that ‘being an unmarried mother was a fate worse than death’, but in addition to the distress caused to both the mothers and the children when they were coerced into giving the children for adoption, the shame did not prevent further women getting pregnant.^[13]Duncan Kennedy, ‘Mothers demand apologies over forced adoptions’, BBC news, 25 May 2021, www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-57231621 [accessed 14 June 2021]. In fact, shame may actually lead to fewer individuals taking responsibility for their actions as they are too ashamed to own up to what they have done.^[14]Pattison, Shame, p. 4. What is actually needed in society, argues Pattison persuasively, is more guilt and less shame.^[15]Ibid., p. 4.

Guilt and the atonement

Western Christianity has had a lot to say about guilt and forgiveness. Jamieson points out that he has heard of Catholic guilt, Lutheran guilt, Calvinist guilt and Baptist guilt.^[16]Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 48. The penal substitution doctrine of atonement addresses this, with Jesus taking the punishment for our sins, freeing us from guilt in a courtroom type scenario and offering forgiveness.^[17]Ibid., p. 102. This may well seem immediately relevant for those who are aware of having committed crimes, but for those who generally see themselves as ‘good’ people, this is offering something that they may not be asking for. When individuals make a mistake, rather than seeking forgiveness from God, they may seek forgiveness from those they see they have wronged. And although, increasingly, forgiveness is encouraged as being a good idea to avoid the emotional and physical problems related to unforgiveness, projects such as ‘The Forgiveness Project’ do not insist on seeking forgiveness in relation to God.^[18]The Forgiveness Project, Our Purpose, https://www.theforgivenessproject.com/our-purpose/ [accessed 25 June 2021], Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 38. But is more needed than freedom from guilt?

Forgiveness, guilt and shame – two stories

A recent news story contrasted with the story of Zacchaeus (Luke 19v1-10) may help to illustrate why shame needs addressing in addition to guilt. On the 26^th March 2021, the BBC ran a story about a repeat offender, ‘Mark’, who became friends with the couple he burgled through a restorative justice project run by the police.^[19] ‘Burglar and victims become friends through rehabilitation scheme’, BBC news, 26 March 2021, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-56536649, [accessed 23 April 2021]. As part of the process, ‘Mark’ had to meet his victims, Anne and Terry, to ‘apologise.’^[20]Stephanie Balloo, ‘How Tyseley burglary victims became ‘friends’ with prolific thief who crept through bedroom window’, Birmingham Mail, 27 March 2021, … Continue reading. Anne commented that everyone deserves a ‘second chance, third, fourth chance’ and that she was ‘proud of him’ for turning his life around.^[21] ‘Burglar and victims become friends’, BBC news. Despite this apparent forgiveness, ‘Mark’ said that he would always be ashamed.^[22]Ibid. As an ex-drug-addict, his position in society was probably not generally valued because the drug habit often adversely affects the way the individual treats people. ‘Mark’ had to prove himself through his actions following his apology. In contrast, in the story of Zacchaeus, it appears to be Jesus’ acceptance of Zachaeus that leads to him seeking forgiveness and making restitution in an almost exuberant way. Jesus also specifically states that Zacchaeus is a son of Abraham, affirming his identity in the community from which he was shunned because of his activities. These are obviously two very different stories, but on the surface, they are both about forgiveness for crimes and restitution. The subtext, however, is very different. Mark has worked to gain acceptance and, at the time of writing, speaks of living with the shadow of his shame. For Zacchaeus, acceptance and love from Jesus leads to freedom from shame and spontaneous giving, enabling him to initiate re-establishment of the connection with those he had wronged.

What causes shame?

Brown states clearly that shame is the fear of disconnection based upon a feeling that we are not worthy of connection.^[23]Brown, The Power of Vulnerability, TEDxHouston, June 2010, 4 minutes 17 seconds,  www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability/transcript [accessed 25 June 2021].  This is a huge problem because, as humans, we are wired to connect; the social pain of lack of connection is actually as real as physical pain.^[24]Gareth Cook, ‘Why we are wired to connect’, Scientific American Oct 22 2013, www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-we-are-wired-to-connect/, [accessed 23 June 2021]. Shame, which prevents human connection is ‘highly, highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, suicide, eating disorders’.^[25]Brown, Shame, 14 minutes 22 seconds. These behaviours do not seem to be connected with internalised guilt, as Freud suggested.^[26]Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 53. Instead, further research has led to Brown stating that the difference between those who struggled with feelings of love and belonging and those who did not was whether they believed they were worthy of love and connection.^[27]Brown, Vulnerability, 6 minutes 59 seconds. Jamieson highlights that within nine minutes of a baby being born it can recognise a face as different from other patterns.^[28]Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 110. The faces that looked at us as we grew up, the messages we absorbed may well have contributed to whether we think we are worthy of connection.^[29]Ibid. p. 111. To different degrees, everyone struggles with wondering if they are enough. Helen Merrell Lynd described the issue as a sense of ‘inadequacy which violates the core of oneself’ and is different for everyone.^[30]Lynd, Shame and Identity, p. 18. Importantly, she emphasises that shame is not about any legal reference, a failure to pay a debt, which is what the penal substitution doctrine of atonement addresses.^[31]Lynd, Shame and Identity, p. 23. Instead, it is about somehow feeling worthy of scorn and is something we are powerless to stop.^[32]Ibid., p. 23, 32. Another way to describe shame might be, wounded self-esteem.^[33]Helen Merrell Lynd, On Shame and the Search for Identity, (New York: Routledge, 2014), p. 23.

What heals shame?

If, as Brown says, shame prevents human connection and is fundamentally linked to a sense that we are not worthy of connection, what seems to be needed is to know we are worthy of connection and to experience that connection. Therapy seeks to help people find a way of dealing with the shame.^[34]Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 42. Brown has spoken about the power of vulnerability to enable connection with others, but it can be very painful.^[35]Brown, Vulnerability, 4 minutes 49 seconds. In her 2012 TED talk she also describes empathy as the antidote to shame; because shame grows in secrecy; knowing we are not alone challenges shame.^[36]Brown, Shame, 18 minutes 52 seconds. Acceptance of ourselves is important too. Maya Angelou famously said ‘You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.’^[37]Maya Angelou, as cited by Christy Bonner, , ‘The Antidote to Shame: I Know I am Enough’, blog post, Tiny Buddha, https://www.tinybuddha.com/blog/the-antidote-to-shame-i-am-enough/ [accessed 25 … Continue reading Accepting herself and being vulnerable have both been helpful to Dr Christy Bonner, a marriage and family therapist who, on her website, shares how both letting go of the need to be perfect and finding people who ‘offer empathy and understanding’ have been very helpful in the quest for freedom from shame.^[38]Christy Bonner, ‘The Antidote to Shame’. These are all helpful hints and may well lead to increased freedom. But what can be said to those like Pattison who after much study and therapy came to the point of saying that ‘neither scholarship, nor therapy, nor religion have freed me from a sense of fundamental personal shame’.^[39]Pattison, Shame, p. 8. What if we feel that we are not enough? What if those we look to, to help restore our identity ultimately fail us? If we cannot look to ourselves or to others to restore our identity, what can be done and how is Christ relevant?

Christ and shame

In his book, The Face of Forgiveness, Jamieson clearly explains his profound belief that only a ‘true vision of Christ can inspire a true vision’ of ourselves.^[40]Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 131. It is Jesus who gives us a new identity and offers unconditional love which overcomes the fear that we are not worthy of connection, the core of shame; our identity is therefore grounded in God and not us.^[41]Ibid., p. 116. This theory is firmly based in atonement theology. For as Jamieson rightly points out, there is no one doctrine of atonement; what Jesus did was far too big to be contained in one theory.^[42]Ibid., p.96. Rather than looking just at forgiveness and freedom from guilt offered through penal substitution, Jamieson looks, as if with a wide-angled lens, to see some broader implications of Christ’s identification with humanity, particularly on the cross.^[43]Ibid., p. 95, p. 108. In addition to his death offering forgiveness of sin, which is of course still vitally needed, God himself, in Christ, took on our shame but did not allow it to destroy his connection with the rest of the Trinity.^[44]Ibid., p. 96, 102. Shame did not win.

On the cross, God in Jesus identifies with our shame and wounded relationships, but the love that is stronger than fear overcomes both and therefore offers healing for humanity, not just forgiveness.^[45]Ibid., 101. If, as Brown says, empathy, saying ‘me too’, is the antidote to shame, then Jesus’ identification with the shame of humanity on the cross is the ultimate ‘me too’.   Death by crucifixion was particularly shameful, ‘an embarrassment’.^[46]Ibid., p. 106. This is a vital point if Christ is to heal humanity of shame. Hebrews 12v2 says clearly that ‘Christ endured the cross, disregarding its shame’.^[47]Ibid., p. 117. Jamieson states strongly that a different type of death would not have been as shameful.^[48]Ibid., p. 106. God in Christ fully identifies with our shame. He has also experienced disconnection. When Jesus cried out on the cross to God, asking why He had been forsaken, He used the term ‘My God’, rather than his usual term of ‘Abba’ (Matt 27v46).^[49]Ibid., p. 99. In that moment it appears that Jesus felt disconnected from his Father, just as humanity is disconnected from God and from one another.  If this is true, then in that moment on the cross, the perfect unity of the Trinity is damaged, the relationship wounded.^[50]Ibid. Christ also experiences lack of connection. The penal substitution doctrine of atonement sees the Son taking the wrath of God for the punishment of the sin of the world and the hymn ‘How deep the Father’s love for us’ has a line which speaks of the Father turning his face away.^[51]Ibid., p. 103. The whole of the Trinity thus suffers as Jesus suffers on the cross and the Holy Spirit, connected to both Father and Son, is also wounded.^[52]Ibid., p. 98, 99. But this is not the end. The power of love restores the relationship.

The prodigal son

This restoration is beautifully illustrated in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15v11-32).^[53]Ibid., p. 121-123. In the prodigal son’s practice monologue, he first acknowledges his sin against his father and God but then expresses his unworthiness of connection with his Father as a son; he no longer felt worthy of his identity. Forgiveness was needed, guilt needed to be taken away, but on its own it was not enough. The son needed affirmation of his identity and restoration to take up that rightful position as son in relationship with his father. The father gives this affirmation, but first enters into his son’s shame by running, a shameful thing for an elder in the Near East, in compassion to meet him, even before the son has given the speech.^[54]Kenneth E. Bailey, Poet and Peasant (Grand Rapids Eerdmans, 1976), p. 158-206, as cited in Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 122. He then reclothes and reaffirms him in his position as son. This same process of entering into the shame and then offering restoration of relationship and new identity helps to describe what Jesus did on the cross.

Some lines in the Church of England Eucharistic liturgy Prayer summarise this beautifully.

‘When we turned away you did not reject us, but came to meet us in your Son.

You embraced us as your children and welcomed us to sit and eat with you’.^[55]Eucharistic Prayer H, The Church of England, https://www.churchofengland.org/prayer-and-worship/worship-texts-and-resources/common-worship/churchs-year/holy-week-and-easter-2#mm058 [accessed 28 June … Continue reading

In the Eucharist we remember the restoration that Christ offers us.

Romans 8 and restoration

In Romans, the apostle Paul also speaks of the vital importance of knowing our true identity and experiencing connection. In Romans 6 and 7 he first describes his inner struggle and associated guilt when he fails to do what he knows is right- but he does not stop there. In Romans 8v1 Paul declares triumphantly that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. The critical judgement, the censure has been removed. This is not just about forgiveness for specific sins, but freedom from the dread of not fulfilling the perfect law, of not being who we know we should be. The written code that was against us, the list of who we must be, was nailed to the cross (Col 2v14). The shame of failing to be that is removed. Secondly, in Romans; 8v15-16, Paul affirms our identity as children of God, using the word ‘Abba’ that Jesus used when speaking of His Heavenly Father.  God offers us affirmation of our true identity as children of God, just as the Father did in the story of the prodigal son. Our worthiness to receive love is based on our identity as his children, not on being perfect. Thirdly, Paul addresses our need for love and connection and from 8v31 onwards, speaking poetically and powerfully about the unconditional love of God that we will never be separated from, the love that is stronger than the fear of disconnection which is the root of shame.

Conclusion

As humans we will always have need of forgiveness, from others and from God, but in 21^st century Western society, whilst forgiveness is seen as therapeutically useful for individuals and society, those without faith may not see the need for forgiveness from a divine being. In saying that Christ offers forgiveness or freedom from guilt, for some it may be that Christians are offering answers to questions that are not being asked. Instead, as Ben Pugh suggests, perhaps we need to learn to listen to what the culture need us to play boldly, whilst soft pedalling the rest.^[56]Ben Pugh, ‘Ransom, ‘Substitute, Scapegoat, God: is there one doctrine of the atonement?’ Church Times, 29 March 2018, https://www.churchtimes.co.uk … Continue reading If Brown is correct that shame is universal and has a more negative effect on behaviour than guilt, then we do need to talk about shame.^[57]Brown, Shame, 14 minutes 57 seconds; June Tangney and Ronda Dearing, Shame and Guilt (New York: The Guildford Press, 2002), p. 3, as cited in Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 61. Being vulnerable, accepting ourselves and knowing acceptance by others is a vital part of being kind to ourselves in order that we can be kind to others.^[58]Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 132; Brown, Vulnerability, 8 minutes and 31 seconds. But the point that Jamieson makes so clearly in his book is that whoever we look to for affirmation, whether ourselves or others, will ultimately fail at some point because of our very humanity. None of us can give everything that the other needs.^[59]Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 126. Our own experience confirms this. The problem is us.^[60]Ibid., p. 108. But rather than this being a cause for despair, instead this can be a cause for hope. For there is one face that will never look away. The face of Jesus will never look away, there is no other face like the face of Jesus.^[61]Karl Barth, Church Dogmatics 11/2 (Edinburgh: T and T Clark, 1957), p. 665-666, as cited in Jamieson, Forgiveness, p. 114. His was a face from whom men hide (Is 53v3), his was a face that was wounded and experienced shame and rejection, but his is a face that offers unconditional love, affirmation of identity as children of God and restoration of relationship with the source of love himself. He offers healing from shame. To a society grappling with issues of identity and looking for answers to questions such as ‘Am I enough?’, Christ is as relevant to the culture today as he ever was and ever will be. We might just have to learn to provide answers to the questions that are being asked.

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